What’s the first thing that comes into your head when you hear ‘Thorntons’? For me, it’s “last minute Christmas prezzie for Gran” or “I’ve been having an affair but my wife will never notice if I bring her some nice chocolates”.
Basically, the kind of gift you give if you have no imagination, you’re feeling guilty or you’ve left your Christmas shopping until 5pm on Christmas Eve.
Is it just me, or do Thorntons have an image problem?
Anyway, I was out shopping with a friend today who decided to stop at Thorntons for an ice cream. I wasn’t really in an ice cream mood, but I can never just walk past a chocolate shop, so I picked something randomly off the shelf.
At £2.75 for a 125g bag, they’re quite expensive, but then people don’t usually buy Thorntons chocolates for themselves, do they? £2.75 is a snip for a little guilt-relief after cheating on the wife. I expect.
The chocolates themselves are white chocolates with a thick cream & coffee centre, dusted with ground coffee. There’s a lot of coffee here. I’d go so far as to say, the coffee flavour is even more overwhelming than the Ritter Sport Cappuccino I reviewed a while back.
Personally, I think they’ve over-done the coffee here. I had a serious caffeine rush after eating just a couple. Annoyingly, the ground coffee sprinkles are also more granular than ground, giving them a slightly gritty texture. Almost like the chocs have been dipped into a jar of Nescafe. I think they would have been a whole lot nicer if they’d just dusted them with cocoa powder.
The centres (double cream and coffee) are OK, but not especially creamy. I would have liked a little more cream and a little less coffee I think. As it is, it’s almost impossible to taste the chocolate because the coffee is so strong. If I’m buying expensive white chocolate, I’d quite like to be able to taste the chocolate!
This is also the first time I’ve not been able to eat more than a few chocolates. After the first couple, I had what I can only describe as an extreme caffeine rush. Coupled with the slightly bitter coffee aftertaste, that’s all I could manage.
That said, these aren’t bad in small doses. But at the price, I don’t think I’ll be buying them again.
Ah, Toblerone. Where to start? How about with a short history lesson… wait! Don’t run away! This is a chocolate history lesson!
Still here? Good! Toblerone chocolate was originally created in 1908 by Theodore Tobler and Emil Baumann. The name comes from ‘Tobler’ and ‘Torrone’, the Italian word for the almond honey nougat in the chocolate. And presumably at some point they decided that ‘Baumannone’ didn’t have quite the same ring to it.
A year after its creation, the Toblerone became the first chocolate product ever to be patented.
The distinctive shape of Toblerone represents the shape of the Matterhorn in the Swiss Alps, which also forms the logo on the packaging.
Right, that’s enough history for now.
Toblerone was one of those chocolates that was always around at Christmas when I was a kid, but it was always a gift from some family friend or relative. We never really bought it for ourselves. I think this was primarily because it’s quite expensive, but also because it was regarded as just a little bit naff – a bit like Ferrero Rocher.
This was the first bar I’d had since those days, and it was simply delicious. The milk chocolate is smooth and tasty and the flecks of nougat are chewy and add texture. You don’t really taste the honey or almonds, but the overall effect is distinctively Toblerone.
I do have one gripe though. The shape. Yes, I’m a philistine – but it’s just such a waste, particularly in the small bar pictured here. Maybe I’m triangularist.
Nearly half the packaging is taken up by air, and I don’t like paying for air. The makers (Kraft) do now make a range of chocolate, but they’re all still that triangular shape. If it was available in a standard bar, I’d probably buy it moreregularly, but for now I suspect this will remain primarily a Christmas treat (when I steal it from friends and family).
Sometimes I think scientists have too much time on their hands. Take this news story for example. Apparently, scientists at the Cocoa Research Institute of Nigeria have invented a non-melting chocolate that doesn’t melt in hot climates.
By mixing the cocoa with cornstarch, the scientists have come up with just such a chocolate. And what’s more, it works. Except it seems, they’ve only now realised they’ve created a chocolate that doesn’t melt. So it won’t melt in the mouth.
Somehow, I don’t think this one will catch on…
After reviewing Revels the other day, I thought it would be a good idea to review my other childhood favourites. All in the name of science, you understand.
But firstly, a quick note to our American readers. What you know as ‘Milky Way’ is what the rest of the world knows as a ‘Mars Bar’. And what the rest of the world calls a ‘Milky Way’, you call ‘3 Musketeers’. I don’t know why – it just is.
What I’ve always liked best about Milky Way is the fluffy, creamy nougat. It’s just yummy. The very thin layer of milk chocolate is really just there to keep the fluffiness from escaping.
After 30 years of experimentation, I have discovered the best way to eat Milky Way is at 20°C (68F). Too cold, and the nougat goes hard and chewy. Too warm, and it just goes icky. Then just bite into it and let it melt in your mouth. Heaven.
There is in fact, only one downside with Milky Way, and that’s that you get funny looks when you buy them if you’re more than 12 years old. This can make them very difficult to get hold of for us grown ups.
Stealing them isn’t on, because the shame of getting caught shoplifting Milky Ways is even worse than the shame of buying them. Hanging around outside sweet shops and offering kids money to go and buy Milky Ways isn’t really an option in this day and age either – and kids these days just run off with your money anyway. (Don’t ask me how I know this, please.)
