You may recall that last week I reviewed Montezuma’s Sweet Paprika & Strawberry Milk Chocolate, and wasn’t overly impressed with it. I found it decidedly bland, but dressed up as something more interesting. So how does that bar’s darker, orangier cousin stand up?
The first thing I want to mention is the packaging. As you can see, it looks pretty much the same as the Strawberry and Paprika bar, and has a similar inane rant on the back of the box:
Aside from the fact that it simply doesn’t make sense (giving up chocolate for lent is easy in a chocolate factory?), I don’t find hearing about the disgusting mess that ‘Claire’ keeps under her Mac particularly conducive to me enjoying a nice bar of chocolate. If it were funny, then it might be acceptable, but it’s not. It’s just the kind of pointless, unfunny story that drunk people share at the office party.
The couple of paragraphs that actually mention the chocolate don’t do so in an informative – or even seductive – way either. It reads like it’s been written by a marketing student who has been taught to use every cliché in the book. Then there’s the line:
“There is little we can say to help the uninitiated with some of the unique and some may say, challenging combinations.”
..which, roughly translated means “If you don’t like this, it’s not our fault. You’re just uneducated and not good enough to appreciate it.”. Yeah, right.
By the time I actually opened the box, I simply wasn’t interested any more. Maybe it’s just me. Maybe I’m overly critical. But it can’t be a good sign.
Upon opening the plastic wrapper (yeah, plastic packaging on “organic” chocolate!), you are greeted with the rather pleasant aroma of orange oil. Maybe things are looking up.
Unfortunately, all hope is lost when you bite into a chunk. The distinctive and unique flavours of Bournville (overly sweet, decidedly average dark chocolate) and dish water fill your mouth. Ack. Granted, it’s a subtle dish water taste with a hint of orange and a slightly flowery aftertaste, but flowery dish water is still dish water.
I don’t know what it is about Montezuma’s. Maybe it’s the quality of the ingredients. Maybe they’re just really bad at making chocolate. But I’ve not been even remotely impressed by either of the bars I’ve tried so far, and I won’t be seeking them out again.