Montezuma’s Orange & Geranium Dark Chocolate

Posted by in Chocolate Reviews on January 30 2008 | Leave A Comment
Montezuma’s Orange & Geranium Dark Chocolate

You may recall that last week I reviewed Montezuma’s Sweet Paprika & Strawberry Milk Chocolate, and wasn’t overly impressed with it. I found it decidedly bland, but dressed up as something more interesting. So how does that bar’s darker, orangier cousin stand up?

The first thing I want to mention is the packaging. As you can see, it looks pretty much the same as the Strawberry and Paprika bar, and has a similar inane rant on the back of the box:

Montezuma’s Orange & Geranium Dark Chocolate

Aside from the fact that it simply doesn’t make sense (giving up chocolate for lent is easy in a chocolate factory?), I don’t find hearing about the disgusting mess that ‘Claire’ keeps under her Mac particularly conducive to me enjoying a nice bar of chocolate. If it were funny, then it might be acceptable, but it’s not. It’s just the kind of pointless, unfunny story that drunk people share at the office party.

The couple of paragraphs that actually mention the chocolate don’t do so in an informative – or even seductive – way either. It reads like it’s been written by a marketing student who has been taught to use every cliché in the book. Then there’s the line:

“There is little we can say to help the uninitiated with some of the unique and some may say, challenging combinations.”

..which, roughly translated means “If you don’t like this, it’s not our fault. You’re just uneducated and not good enough to appreciate it.”. Yeah, right.

By the time I actually opened the box, I simply wasn’t interested any more. Maybe it’s just me. Maybe I’m overly critical. But it can’t be a good sign.

Montezuma’s Orange & Geranium Dark Chocolate

Upon opening the plastic wrapper (yeah, plastic packaging on “organic” chocolate!), you are greeted with the rather pleasant aroma of orange oil. Maybe things are looking up.

Unfortunately, all hope is lost when you bite into a chunk. The distinctive and unique flavours of Bournville (overly sweet, decidedly average dark chocolate) and dish water fill your mouth. Ack. Granted, it’s a subtle dish water taste with a hint of orange and a slightly flowery aftertaste, but flowery dish water is still dish water.

I don’t know what it is about Montezuma’s. Maybe it’s the quality of the ingredients. Maybe they’re just really bad at making chocolate. But I’ve not been even remotely impressed by either of the bars I’ve tried so far, and I won’t be seeking them out again.


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Comments On This Post

  1. I can’t stop laughing at the fact that you also picked up on the rant on the back of the box. When I reviewed a bunch of Montezuma’s stuff I also questioned just what on earth their motives were with all of that gibberish on the back, and again with the “unitiated” line, I basically thought “yeah…thanks for the help, fellas”. Anyway, in complete agreement here. Methinks you should take a look at their site and see what they charge for their bars, ho boy am I glad I got a bunch for free…

  2. Dom (Chocablog Staff)

    Terry’s review is here if anyone wants a second opinion:

    I’m amazed you actually managed to write an analysis of this bar without it deteriorating into a rant. That’s more than I managed. 🙂

  3. Awesome review. Nothing like bad chocolate getting its proper dues. >:}

  4. David Alsmeyer

    At least you got your chocolate, even if it disappointed. We ordered £70 of chocolate mail order from them and it never arrived. They claim it was delivered, but we never had a note through the door and it’s not where they claim it was left.

  5. David Alsmeyer

    I’m happy to say that Montezuma will be sending more chocolate. Their reputation is intact in my eyes.

  6. Helsapopin

    I don’t know, you spend a weeks wages on a belated christmas present for your brother and he publicly trashes it!!! p.s.I didn’t realise you still drank dish water.

  7. K Spence

    Their chocolate is a bit hit and miss, I find. I personally really like their chilli, lime and tequila truffles.

    The back of the box is highly irritating (although I think you’ll find that the giving up chocolate for lent being easy in a chocolate factory comment is sarcasm, rather than nonsense!).

  8. Dom (Chocablog Staff)

    Well I’ve got more Montezumas stuff coming up for review soon. I promise to review it with an open mind!

  9. Katie Wong

    I sampled this in Chichester. It made me feel giddy and constipated and my boyfriend feared for my physical and mental health. I have since been diagnosed with Cajun Squirrel Disorder, or CSD as its more widely known. The Doctors rate my chances at 37.231%. Please send any donations to my publicist Max Clifford. Much Love.

  10. Paul Mail

    Just come across your blog. Some cool stuff here but I find some of these comments odd. I love this bar (and a lot of their other stuff although not all) and I do find some of the packaging amusing if not exactly funny. Maybe I have a sense of humour!

    My real gripe here is that I happen to work in packaging supply and sourcing (bit not for them I should add) and know they are one of the few companies who actually use starch based film and not ‘plastic’; which costs about 10 times as much. Maybe you should get your facts right!

  11. Simon

    I just tried this. Wasn’t overly impressed with the chocolate and didn’t need an essay to read while eating it. Overpriced? I think so. Perhaps they make really good quality individual chocolates?

  12. DJ

    So here we are 10 years later. I received a “bookcase” box of this chocolate for Christmas with five individual bars. The fact that two of those bars are still intact on Valentine’s Day tells you something about the chocolate. It’s decidedly yack.

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