Lindt Stracciatella

I nearly didn’t review these Lindt Stracciatella. For one thing, they’re white chocolate, which we don’t like to overdo, but we also mentioned them briefly four years ago as part of an Australian Lindt selection.

According to the Lindt press release that came with them though, these are new in the UK this Christmas. But the real reason I want to write about them is that they’re utterly addictive, despite the fact that they barely qualify as chocolate at all.

So what are Stracciatella? Just like the Lindor we’ve all seen before, these are individually wrapped balls. But these are white chocolate with what Lindt describe as a ‘smooth white praline centre’ with small pieces of cocoa nib.

According to the box, it “tastes like cookies and cream”. It does to a certain extent, but it would be more accurate to say “tastes like butter and sugar”. Putting a whole Stracciatella ball in your mouth is really like sucking on a knob of butter. Or injecting lard. The texture isn’t just creamy, it’s ultra smooth and glossy, unlike anything else I’ve tried recently.

After a moment or two, the sweetness kicks in and starts to build. As the ‘chocolate’ melts, it just gets creamier and sweeter and glossier. And then you encounter the tiny pieces of nib, which frankly are a little odd. Cocoa nibs of course aren’t sweet at all, and can often be quite hard. They do give a slightly biscuity flavour to the white chocolate gloop that now covers your entire mouth, but they do nothing to cut through the sweetness, and barely add any texture.

Yet as sickly sweet as they are, Lindt Stracciatella are utterly, utterly addictive. It’s a kind of addictiveness that lies somewhere between a can of Pringles and smoking crack. When the box is opened, it’s very difficult to stop, and then you just feel dirty afterward. Or maybe that’s just me.

Would I buy these? No. But only because I would eat them all and feel bad. If you’re a hardcore white chocolate lover, then they may be the best thing you’ve ever had. But opening a box is something best left to those with more self restraint than me.

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