After trying Woolworths almond milk chocolate, my hopes were hovering at around pond slime level when their Dark Chocolate block was ready for reviewing. As with the other block, the presentation leaves a lot to be desired. If they are aiming at the bargain basement crowd then it’s a winner, but if they want discerning buyers to be attracted to their chocolate, this wrapper scores an F.
Despite my pompous dismissal of the packaging, there was a pleasant, sweet and dark aroma when the plastic wrapper was opened. The rectangular chunks of chocolate are rather large and deep and very, very difficult to snap.
Leaving it out to soften slightly helped matters a bit and gave me a chance to peruse the ingredients. Sugar first, so there won’t be a huge cocoa solids content (47%, which is a bit optimistic to call it dark chocolate in my opinion); cocoa butter, butter oil milk, soy lecithin —— hang on a second – Butter milk oil? What the blown gasket was that? If nothing else, it explains why a mere 4 piece serving of this chocolate will reward the eater with one-quarter their daily allowance of saturated fat.
And the taste? Awful. Bloody awful. This was like cooking chocolate. Just cheap, nasty, compound-oily, sharp-tanged and gluggy in the mouth. Yuck. No wonder it’s the supermarket’s own label and the manufacturer won’t reveal themselves because This. Is. Just. Not. Good. Enough. No, not even for cheapskate bargain hunters who hate their friends. What’s worse is that, over three days, I persisted in eating it to see if it improved or to check that I wasn’t being unnecessarily snobby or too harsh. Instead, I was rewarded with a headache for my efforts.
To describe this box of poo as ‘deliciously full bodied….pure temptation” with “a wonderfully delicate texture and a luxuriously rich flavour” is to tell big porky pies. I’d rather eat mud. Or carob! Avoid like the plague. Or someone suffering from the plague holding a block of this in their infested hands.