Since we last talked about Kshocolât, two things have happened; In February this year, the company went into administration (which doesn’t surprise me), then last month, a Welsh company bought their assets and brand (which surprises me a great deal).
It was somewhat of a shock when their new PR people offered to send samples, but I was intrigued enough to agree. Amonst the samples were these two tubes of “Strawberrettes” and “Orangettes”. Simon reviewed the Orangettes last year, and they don’t look any different, so I’m just going to talk about the Strawberrettes here.
First impressions are not good.
Second impressions are worse.
They smell horrible. The tube gives off a sickly sweet and entirely fake smell that makes me feel ill. Strawberries don’t have a particularly strong aroma, so I took a look at the ingredients:
Milk chocolate 50% (sugar, cocoa solids 33% (cocoa mass, cocoa butter), milk solids 16%, emulsifier: soya lecethin), concentrated fruit 16%, Sugar, glucose syrup, whey powder, gylcerol 2%, vegetable fat, pectin, acacia gum, glazing agent: Shellac, flavouring, citric acid, sorbic acid, color: carrot, blueberry and pumpkin extracts.
There’s one notable thing missing from that list: Strawberries.
Now there may be strawberries in the “concentrated fruit”, but you’d think they’d be mentioned by name. And with all that junk in there, it shouldn’t be surprising to learn that these taste as bad as they smell.
For all I know, the chocolate may be fine, but there’s such a tiny amount of it and it’s coated in shellac, so you can’t taste it at all. All you get is a cheap, chewy, vaguely fruity candy covered in some shiny brown substance.
You may be able to get kids to eat them, but personally I find them absolutely vile.
But what shocks me even more is that Kshocolât still want to market themselves as a luxury chocolate brand. They’re not. In terms of quality and sophistication, they’re about three levels below Haribo.
I do hope Bon Bon Buddies (new owners of Kshocolât) didn’t pay too much money for the brand, because based on these, I’m not convinced it was worth saving. But I have a couple more items to review, so maybe they can win me over.