Bloody &%$#@!& Cadburys! They are infuriatingly inconsistent with what they offer the average suburban chocaholic these days. They either do things extremely well (always dependable, good old Dairy Milk and their superb 70% Old Gold chocolate range), or put out frankly dodgy stuff that is just horribly wrong (and a big welcome and thumbs down to Desserts Boysenberry Shortcake, Fudge Brownie and Lemon Cheesecake).
And so it is with Flake ‘Luxury’. However, I must admit that the blame also lies with me. For some reason I must have selected this bar before lunchtime/my second espresso and therefore the ability to focus, read and reflect was sorely lacking. I thought that ‘luxury’ meant that this version was coated in dark chocolate with the original flake inside or vice versa.
No such luck, bugger it. It was just the bog-standard flake coated in a thin layer of Dairy Milk. No ‘luxury’ there that I could see and I’m sure it has gotten smaller than the original Flake I remember from child and teenager-hood.
Sure, Flake is an old classic and always tastes great – instantly and delightfully melts in the mouth, is pleasantly crumbly and it’s nice to lick your finger and pick bits out of the wrapper making the sensation last longer – but encasing it in the same chocolate and slapping on a gold wrapper does not qualify describing it in any way, shape or form as ‘luxurious’. That’s like having a slice of bread with cheese on it, and then putting the second slice of bread on top and calling it a ‘Michelen Star Sandwich’. I don’t think so.
‘Flake Neater’, maybe, but not very catchy from the marketing point of view. ‘No More Embarrassing Crumbs in your Crotch Flake’ is another more honest description but perhaps still not a complete winner from the consumer standpoint.
How about ‘Flake Fake – There’s nothing new or luxurious about it’ for complete honesty? Nah, it’ll never take off.